Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Pictures

I got Kaetlyn's camera today so here are some pictures....

First my garden. You can see in the second picture where I am clearing weeds for the next raised bed. And around that you can see what it was like before i started.... Can you see the little zucchini plant in the corner? Beside it is a marigold and then the cauliflower. I have to figure out a way to keep the quails out of it or there won't be much left by tomorrow...




















Here are some beautiful trees at the beginning of my driveway















Another beautiful tree in my driveway - a slippery elm?



















And here is where we eat outside beneath the maple, birch and willow trees...















See what I mean? I live in a park!

Sunday, May 21, 2006

I Am Amazed!

We spent the day today working on our yard as a family. That is the most time we have spent outside like that. And I've got to say, I live in a park! My yard is just so naturally beautiful - huge maple, willow and elm trees, lilac bushes, grass, swings. Its really beautiful. I love it. I love being outside.

Today we worked on creating a vegetable garden. Dean and I were trying to figure out how we could best accomplish this. You can't just dig up the dirt here because it is all clay. I've tried that before and all the root vegetables just grew above the ground... and not so well, either. It takes a roto-tiller and a lot of mulch and work to turn this dirt into soil. We don't have that kind of time or the inclination. And we didn't want to use gardening ties treated with arsenic or pesticides, either. So Dean came up with the idea that a friend of mine had suggested to me as well. We gathered huge rocks from around the yard and made a raised bed from them. Then we went to our neighbours (who is also our landlord) and brought loads of top soil to fill it up. It is such a pretty raised bed. Then Rhiannon and I transplanted some of those plants that we planted in February. Some marigolds, cauliflower and zucchini. And we planted some lettuce, spinach, beets and carrots. And I am amazed at what we did. I keep looking over to where we put the garden and instead of scrubby ground with weeds and clumps of crab grass, I see my lovely raised bed with my vegetables. Wow. We created something. I am sure I sound silly but I am truly amazed. I just couldn't stop looking at my creation...

I think I discovered stinging nettle today.... didn't know what it was before....

Rainy Long Week End

I have to laugh. With the heat we had coming into the long week end, many people were so sure that it would be hot and sunny for the week end. It always rains on the May long weekend. It is tradition. If you go camping, you stand the chance of making it onto the news as rains drips off of your tarp.... And so it rained and rained and rained yesterday.... but you all are probably not reading my blog for a weather update. There is the weather network for that or environment canada....

I spent the day yesterday unpacking and arranging the 'last room'. The room where all the boxes were piled before being sorted to other rooms. I had an idea in my head of how I thought the room could be arranged. This room has outside walls on 3 sides and each of these outside walls is dominated by large old fashioned windows - they start low and go almost to the high ceiling. Nothing fit where I thought it would fit. I spent the day moving piles of boxes of books and trying furniture in different places. I even got out the tape measure.... I finally came up with a configuration and got most of the books unpacked. Then I realized that the entire day had gone by and it was now supper time and I was still wearing my pj's with an apron over top. I was babysitting a friend of Rhiannon's. Her dad dropped her off at 10:30 and I greeted him in said outfit with the smells of fresh made bread and cinnamon buns wafting through the house. Now it was 7:30, the smells were gone, the room still looked like a mess and I was still wearing my apron and pj's.... How could that happen? Ah well, what can one do except to make a joke at ones own expense....?

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Dog Familial Bonds


Well, dogs don't have familial bonds, right? Hmmm after today I am not so sure. Jodi (shown at left), Rhiannon and I went for a walk today. We walked along the railroad tracks and then down a road and around. Just as were coming to the spot where we were going to leave the tracks, we spotted a dog. I thought, "Gee, that really looks like one of Jodi's pups..." and I knew that I had seen one of the people who took her pups getting off the Coldstream bus in this vicinity. Hmmm Could it be? For those of you who don't know, Jodi had pups 2.5 years ago. The father was a mutt, just like Jodi is. But the ears on that dog, boy, they sure looked like Jodi's little ears. Hmmm.

And then Jodi and the dog saw each other. They froze. Their tails stuck straight out behind them. They stared at each other (or were they smelling each other?) Then they ran at each other like long lost loves and circled each other and immediately started playing. Rather unusual behaviour for Jodi who is not especially social to other dogs and usually has to do a great deal of sniffing butts and growling to establish a rapport. Not with this dog.

I went to the door of the house and rang the bell. The lady came to the door and I told her I was wondering if this was one of our dog's pups - that we used to live on Mission Hill, etc. She was so glad to see me again. Indeed it was Jodi's pup - once called Sam and beloved of Kaetlyn and now called Tarkus. And a year ago she had driven around Mission Hill trying to find me to tell me that this is the best dog she has ever had! It was so good to see this once-pup and see how happy and well adjusted he was and how happy the people were to have him. And Jodi loved to see him again.

So I thought animals are not supposed to have memories like that - especially to remember another dog like that? Those two knew each other and were so happy to see each other again! What gives?

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

My THIRD brother

It seems I am into telling stories lately. Today is the story of my brother's arrival. I can't remember Doug or John being born. My earliest memories include them. I can remember John being a baby who ate paper but I don't remember his arrival into our family. I do remember Mom's pregnancy with Layne. I prayed and prayed and prayed and PRAYED that he would be a girl. I wanted a sister soooo badly! I was overrun by boys! We were living in North Vancouver and when Mom's time drew near, I was sent to stay with Grandma Clarke in Powell River. She had an 'old folks' home as they were called then in Wildwood just outside of Powell River. I can remember clearly staying there. Some of the old people were nice to me and enjoyed having me. Some were senile and didn't like having a kid around so much and I was too young to understand that they didn't know what they were saying to me. One old lady I will never forget. Her name was Mrs. Jolly and she was really crabby. There was an East Indian family who lived next door with a girl my age that I liked to play with. But old Mrs. Jolly was rather prejudiced and she didn't lose this quality in her senility. When my friend came to the door and came in, Mrs. Jolly yelled at me (she was incapacitated and couldn't have forced me but her yelling was force enough...) and threw me out of the house in my socks.... I can remember helping Grandma in the kitchen and sitting on a stool at the counter which I thought was really cool.

Then came the phone call. It was a boy. I was so angry. I stormed to my room and slammed the door. Another brother. No one else knows what that is like to have the next 3 siblings by of the opposite sex. Evan might be close - he's surrounded by 4 girls but at least he had Jordan... But my heart quickly softened. I can remember running into the house when I got home in search of him in his bassinet. "Hi Eddy!" Only to find out that they were going to call him Layne. I did finally get my sister just over 2 years later (look for tales of her birth in August;-)). This picture was taken when grandma and grandpa McLean came to visit after his birth. He must be asleep in the house but here is the rest of us. Doesn't Mom look chic for just having her 4th child? And isn't that yard great? I loved that yard in North Van! There is a creek that runs through the trees behind us in the picture. It had 2 apple trees, blackberries, raspberries and strawberries.


But Layne turned out to be a pretty good brother. He was my cute kid brother who tagged along with me and my friends. I used to take him to movies with my friends (when the Saturday matinee was only $.75). I remember seeing Pete's Dragon with him in Cranbrook. He was sweet and funny and he didn't bug me as much as John and Doug did (or should I say Doug and John as Doug was deffinitely the bigger bug!) He always had such a goofy sense of humour. I can remember Mom trying to punish him for something while he rolled around on the floor laughing and being silly and finally she gave up and started laughing! That's just the kind of boy he was. Hard to stay mad at.


Here he is in his soccer uniform. I liked watching him play soccer. I have other pictures of Gram watching this game, too.


And here he is a couple of years ago when he came to visit - jamming with Erin and Dean.

Truly I am so grateful for my little brother who has been so kind to me. I really appreciate the effort he puts into having a relationship with me! Happy birthday, Layne!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Window Washing Week 2

Well, Dean is back but he is soooo sick, I have been out washing windows again... And it was really, really hot today -- 32 degrees. I am sticky all over with the aftermath of sweatiness. I did pretty good, though. And it is amazing how much my arm strength has improved just in this short time of exercise...

Here is what I was thinking about today:

As I was climbing up a step ladder that I borrowed from the people's house (we don't have one - just an extension), I remembered a tall wodden step ladder that Dad built long ago - must have been our first or second summer in Terrace. I remembered the sunny afternoon as Gram, Katie and I picked cherries in the backyard. Katie who would have been 5 or 6 climbed to the very top of the ladder. I think Gram did warn her about climbing to the very top. How brave she was to be up so high and not afraid at all and working so hard on picking cherries. Then I remember the slow motion as she fell right over the top - arms spread eagle. In my memory she almost floats down like a feather in slow motion. Then everything speeds up and Gram is there giving her mouth to mouth. How scary. I remember the terror of that moment... Of course we have teased Katie about that eversince and she was called superman for sometime but I was there and I can remember how scared I was.

Anyways, there's my memory for the day

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Happy Mother's Day

Well, I had ideas about writing profound insights into parenting to commemorate Mother's Day. But.... I changed my mind. I had a wonderful Mother's Day. Kaetlyn has been playing in a fastball tournament here in Vernon so I got to watch her play at 10am. She was pitching and she did awesome! They won that game against Penticton easily and were in 4th place to advance to the play-offs. I had to miss the beginning of the play-off game to take Drew to a soccer game. For some reason the woman who does the schedule thought we would like an extra game on Mother's Day so the mom's could watch. Where does she think we are the rest of the games?! And I couldn't watch because I had to rush back to Kaetlyn's tournament. I caught the last inning of her game. They lost by 1 run and so were out of the play offs. We didn't mind, actually, as we wanted to do something together. So we went back to Drew's soccer game and caught the last half of that. They smashed the other team 14 - 2. sheesh. Not that Drew scored any of those goals but he had fun.

Thankfully all the rushing around was over. It was a beautiful sunny day (highs forcasted for 31). The kids were planning on taking me out to a buffet dinner but they changed the plans with the weather and packed a picnic lunch and we went to my favourite beach. It was really nice. We all ate together and then I sat and crocheted on the beach, Rhiannon played in the water, finding pretty rocks. Then they all started building a sand castle together. I listened as they playfully argued with each other and made fun of each other as they built this castle complex. I marvelled to look at them. These 4 children. Made from my flesh. Birth is such a miraculous thing. From my own body I brought 4 lives into this world - each of them their own person and they have grown and grown. Apart of me and yet separate. I reminisced about how our family has grown and changed with the addition of each of them. Everytime you have a child it changes everything. This is my family. They have been my greatest joy and my greatest frustration. And I have felt the greatest sorrow for my own failings because of them. I would that their lives would be easy and bright and it pains me to see how I have caused some of the struggle. Even so, I wouldn't trade it for anything. The happiness and depth they have brought into my life is immeasurable. Thank you, all 4 of you for making me your mom!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Grateful

5 years ago, May 13 was a Sunday - Mother's Day. Rhiannon was 8 months old, Kaetlyn had just turned 10, Andrew was 7 and Erin was 14. I had made plans with a friend of mine to go horseback riding on Mother's Day - in the morning at 11am. Dean made me a wonderfully delicious omlette for my Mother's Day breakfast. I had gone horse back riding many times with my friend on her two horses. But it had been awhile due to my pregnancy. I was really looking forward to it. It was a beautiful morning, it was warm, the apple trees were all in full blossom. We were riding through an orchard together along with a friend of my friend. We were just walking the horses, chatting and enjoying the sunshine. I was in the rear. My horse stopped to eat by a sprinkler that was spraying weirdly. I pulled on her head up with the reins. She didn't like it. She gave a little buck and trotted off. I was completely unprepared. I went up in the air because I wasn't hanging on to the horse properly. I went up in the air and the horse trotted off. I remember seeing the horse's behind in front of me and thinking 'uh oh, this isn't supposed to be like this'. Then I hit the ground on my knees. And I knew that I couldn't get up.

I heard a nurse in the hallway talkling about me saying 'she'll never run again'. I was terrified. Never run again? Just that week I had been teaching Kaetlyn and Drew the finer points of sprinting on our front lawn. I thought of sprinting shoeless through the grass in Fort George Park, or in my socks around the track at Skeena Jr. Secondary. Never run again?

When I went to physio the physio therapist told me that my injury was considered a 'life changing' injury. Truly it was. My recovery lasted 3 years. In fact I am still rebuilding the muscle in my right leg. And it is true, I haven't run since. But I can dance. And one day, I will run again. I will. But there was more to the change than the purely physical. This injury went to the very core of me.

What stood out the most to me was the lack of support I had in my life at the time. The women from work brought in some dinners for my family. And then there was no one. In fact, my friendship with the horse owner fell apart. She couldn't stand visiting me. I think she felt guilty but there was no need. I never blamed her for one second... I was alone. And I coped. I learned how to cook from a wheelchair. And I drove my family crazy. For Mother's Day they got to find out exactly how much I really do do and not just for 1 day - but 6 weeks.

I really started to think about community. When I was a mormon, I had an automatic community where ever I went. People I automaticaly trusted and welcomed into my life. I had left the church when Drew was born - just before moving to Vernon. I didn't know how to create community for myself. I started to open my closed heart. I started to let people in. I started to share myself. These are pastel drawings I did at the time. This one says (in case you can't read it) AND THE BURNING BUSH SAID: Walk on your new legs
This has been my task in the last 5 years. To learn how to walk on my new legs, spiritual as well as physical.

Here are some other pastel drawings I did at the time. I think they are self explanatory.


















Now, 5 years after that awful accident that changed my life, what a difference I see. Just this last week, a relatively minor crisis - Dean gone for 10 days with only 3 days notice and me having to wash windows. I had many friends around me. Rhiannon had no shortage of places to go and play while I worked. My friends surrounded me and supported me. My heart is full of gratitude. I am so grateful for my life; for the people in it. My heart is full. I am not alone. Thank you!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

May 10, 1991 - 2006

I always wanted to be a mother. It was one of those things that I thought about and planned for from the time I was very young. One could think that having so many younger siblings could have jaded me on the idea. But it didn't. I was happy for each of their arrivals and I looked forward to the day when I would have my own children. After having Erin when I was 21, I looked forward to having another. Of course, my life took a bit of a detour for a few years... I can remember standing in line with Erin at the grocery store. I was single at the time and her proclaiming loudly that I would have baby, soon, right? She often told me she wanted to go live with other families that had more children...

I became pregnant in August of 1990. I knew the second she implanted in my womb. I started my last year at UVic just days after. I can remember how nauseous the smell of the outdoor grill at the Student Union Building made me feel - and that smell seemed to waft over the entire campus for most of the day! Erin was thrilled. Daily she would put her hands on my belly and say, "you're a girl! You're a girl!" We gleefully prepared together for the arrival of her sibling. She learned how to quilt - we made blankets. We painted and gather baby clothes. We were so excited! The room was a beautiful pale lemon yellow with pink and blue inside the cupboards and drawers. It couldn't have been prettier.

I had a 3 week break between the end of the winter semesterand the start of the spring semester. I had 2 courses in the spring semester and 2 in the summer semester and then I was done my psych degree. This 3 week break was the time for her to be born. Spring and summer courses are very condensed. Missing even one day is the same as missing a week - almost impossible to make up! Classes started May 13. I was due May 5. The days crept by. Pretty soon it was Thursday, May 9 and no sign of a baby other than my bulging belly... I bought a bottle of castor oil. I drank the recommended 2 tablespoons. Labour started and we went to the hospital. And came home with her still inside. I drank the whole bottle. Labour started about 5pm.

Now I have been blessed with a relatively easy labour. My labour pains are not very painful and the pain doesn't really increase. Of course this has it advantages but the disadvantage is that I really couldn't tell where I was at in my labour. There is video footage of me brushing my teeth at 10:30 at home. Then the next thing you see, it is 11:10 and I am holding Kaetlyn in the delivery room... We lived in Sidney and she was born in the Victoria General Hospital which is a 20 minute drive away. As we sped there through the night with Erin tucked into the back seat, I knew I was having the urge to push but I denied it. Iwas NOT giving birth in a 1972 Toyota! When we got to the hospital, I didn't wait for the wheel chair. I dashed up to the maternity floor. While walking down the hall, I got the urge to push again - I called out "It's coming" and collapsed as the nurses grabbed me. See, they tell you to stay home until you can't walk through the contractions. I can walk unless I am actually pushing. Kaetlyn was born just 15 minutes after we arrived at the hospital - I was still wearing my own clothes... Erin was right there between my legs, beside the Dr, watching her sister be born. She was the one to declare, "Its a girl!" I also have it on video Erin sitting in the easy chair in the hospital room singing, "This is the way the baby rides" to her much anticipated sister. And so she was named Kaetlyn Marie after my two sisters on May 10, 1991. 7lbs, 13 oz. Today she is 15.











And what an honour it has been to be her mother these last 15 years. She was a blonde, chubby little drop of sunshine - always friendly and outgoing. I remember her hanging in her jolly jumper and laughing hysterically as Erin did stunts to make her laugh. Anytime Erin dropped something, Kaetlyn giggled uncontrollably. So Erin dropped things over and over. She has grown into an amazing young woman. Her friends' parents always love her. She is gracious and kind and very thoughtful. She was my best Mother's Day present ever! How could I possible top that?!

People have always commented on how much she looks like me. I can see it sometimes in the expression of her face and in her eyes. Mostly she looks like her own person. I have felt sorry for her when almost every place we go together, people comment because I know it can be frustrating to be compared to someone else all the time. And certainly she is like me in many ways. Sometimes I have been afraid that she has all my worst character faults. She is bossy and she has a hard time letting go when she has been hurt and has a hard time accepting gifts. But she also has amazing qualities that are nothing like me. Like she is very talented at Math. She got 90% in grade 9 Math on her last report card. And it was EASY for her! And she has a great ability to see through people and not put up with crap. And she is disciplined - she studies and does her homework. She knows how to apply herself. She is fantastic help for washing windows because she knows how to take care and do the job well. Sometimes we clash because we are both stubborn and she sees through my crap. But that is not what is real. What is real is that I have been in-love with her since before she was conceived. She was wanted and is cherished and I am so proud of her and grateful for this opportunity to be her mom! Happy Birthday Kaetlyn!

And here is my photo essay on the last 15 years...









Here is Kaet and Erin goofing around





















This is my all time favourite picture of Kaetlyn taken on her 4th birthday in the clothes that I bought her for her birthday outside our home on Silver Star Road.



































Umpiring her first game at age 12. Isn't she brave?




















with dramatic make up





















At the beach in White Rock 2 weeks ago and last week end with her friend who had just dyed her hair pink....

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Herstory

Hmmm, I thought I would never be one of those people who called history, herstory. But I just read a wonderful novel about Katherine of Aragon (or Catalina, Infanta of Spain). It is called the Constant Princess by Phillippa Gregory. It is a fictionalized account of history but based on an amazing amount of research. Katherine of Aragon was the first wife of Henry VIII and had been the wife of his older brother, Arthur who died after 5 months of marriage. I have studied quite a bit of British history, both at University and through my own research. I am facinated by the land of my heritage.

It is true, our history is told from the male perspective. Katherine of Aragon was hardly a footnote in my studies of British history. Yet she was the youngest daughter of Ferdinand and Isabella who were incredibly powerful European monarchs. Her mother was a warrior and Catalina was born while her parents were 'on campaign' in a tent. She was raised to know what it was to be a warrior. She actually led the English to a decisive victory against the Scots when Henry and his best generals had left for France - a campaign that would fail. She rode in armour and led the troops and decided the strategy. Henry was not raised to be a king - his brother got all the training. Henry was indulged and spoiled. Katherine was the power of the throne and behind the changes that occured at that time - instituting a rule of law that was consistent throughout the kindom, etc. She was a very powerful monarch in her own right. Yet what do we learn of her in history? I learned almost nothing. Truly we learn of history from the perspective of men. Not that the perspective of women is better - but it is missing.

So here is my Herstory lesson for today and I challenge you all to think about that. What would be different if history was told from the perspective of women? What would be the voice that is missing?

Monday, May 08, 2006

Window Washing Day 1

Well, I have triceps, did you know? They even hurt from typing.... They didn't call me 'little arms' for nothing...

So here are your window washing tips for the day

1. Windex and any other commercial window washing solution be it blue, orange or clear is a rip off. Not only do they not work very well, they make it harder for a window washer to do a good job because they make the water bead up on the window because there is actually a glass wax or oil in them... We just use dish soap to wash windows - it works easier than vinager because it lets the squeegee slide across the window.

2. Don't plant cute little shrubs right next to your house underneath a window. They won't be cute and little for long...

3. If you have those white spots on the window that won't wash off (calcium deposits from the water), don't waste your money on CLR or any other expensive cleaner that makes claims to remove lime and calcium build-up. They are rather toxic and they don't work well. Just cut a lemon in half and rub it over the spots. Leave it on for a couple of minutes and they will wash right off. Vinager won't work as well because table vinager is too diluted. (Pickling vinager might work - haven't tried it but it is stronger). This is my greatest window washing secret. There are people who scrub and scrub trying to get those spots off and buy CLR and still they don't come off. Lemon. Works everytime. I even used it on a window that had been clouded over for more than 10 years - so cloudy that you couldn't see through it. I had to really get it juicy and I let it soak for about 1/2 an hour and then it wiped right off and the window was sparkling clean...

Sunday, May 07, 2006

She peeped! She piped! SHE POOPED!!!

Well, was it the discussion of the digestion, emphasizing the importance of elimination? Was it the threat of diapers? Was it the encouragement and acknowledgement of the perils and benefits of growing up? Was it explaining that bowel movements were so important that if she didn't manage to have one, I would have to take her to the Dr? Or was it the laxitive tea? Perhaps the last. But she pooped. Not, unfortunately, before messing her pants one last time. She pooped just as I was coming up the stairs with another cup of laxitive tea... I gave it to her anyways. There's gotta be more in there! We cheered and I carefully supervised the wiping of the bum but didn't do it - but gave her the support she needed to be successful. Whew! Thank God!

Growing Up

I think that Rhiannon is struggling with growing up - moving to her next stage. I read something awhile ago - mothers talking about the transition that their kids went through at the half year mark. I kind of dismissed it and didn't think that any of my kids had ever been like that. But here it is, Rhiannon is 5 1/2 and she is struggling with something.

She is struggling again to sleep in her own bed - ending up almost every night in my bed for the lasat couple of weeks. I awake and put her back in the early part of the night but she invariably sneaks in in the middle of my deep sleep and I don't wake up - until the morning when she is there beside me. She wants me to dress her and undress her and choose her clothes. She wants me to choose which movie she watches and put it on for her (she's known how to operate the VCR since she was 3). The most worrisome thing is that she wants me to wipe her bum for her. I did it a couple of times and then told her I wouldn't do it anymore (but I would be glad to help her do it). So guess what, she has stopped pooping. It has been more than 10 days since the last time she pooped. I think this pattern has been going on for awhile. She will hold it, hold it, hold it and then have a gigantic poop - big-enough-to-plug-the-toilet-poop. The last couple of times she holds it for soooooo long that little bits of poo start to escape in her panties. Gross. One day, after washing out 4 pairs of panties, I told her if she did it again, I was going to buy some diapers for her. So she pooped in the toilet and plugged it.... That was the last time. She is back at the same stage now where she has had some poop in her panties a couple of times, a little in the bath last night. Kaetlyn and I tried to tease her into it while in Vancouver - we chanted 'set the poo free' while marching back and forth in front of the bathroom at Grandma B's. No luck. Then I started to really notice how long it has been since she pooped.... I have been talking to her about it. I think it is all related to growing up - going to the next stage. I think she is having some kind of anxiety about it. She says she doesn't want to poop because I won't wipe her bum. Is this the definition of stubborn? Or what!?! So we have been talking about all the advantages of getting older and the things she will be able to do and how it is okay for her to grow up. And talking about how important it is for her to poop - the function that fills in her body... So far no luck. We each made ourselves some tea this afternoon. I slipped a laxitive tea into her little teapot. That was hours ago. Still no poop. That stuff makes me poop pretty darn quickly! What will happen? How can she hold it for so long? That must be such a gross feeling...

Friday, May 05, 2006

How You Look at things

Well, last night my battery gave up the ghost. Just like that. All at once. And I am speaking here of the battery in my van. The van started perfectly all day long as Dean turned it off and on several times out washing windows. Then, when I took Kaetlyn to her umpiring, I thought I heard a little struggle when it started. Just very quick and I wasn't even sure I heard it. Then, after seeing a client at the Inner World School, it was a no go. Just ticking. Tick, tick, tick, tick...

When the BCAA guy came to get me started, he said it was the 4th battery to go like that today that he has attended to. He said that when it starts to get hot out, that batteries who are waiting to go, just go all at once. I had just had the van serviced 2 weeks ago so I was rather surprised. He told me that another lady that he helped had her car serviced 2 weeks ago, too.

So, how to react? I could moan. What a time for something ELSE to go wrong. I could beg for a moratorium on things going wrong in my life. I could feel alone. I could stress about another bill...

Or I could be grateful that instead of dying slowly, it held on to the last possible minute and then went ca-put. And isn't it lucky I can get it fixed today? And isn't it lucky that someone once gave me a battery recharger (thanks, Leanne, wherever you are) so that I can keep it plugged in and have enough juice to start it to drive to Canadian Tire? Really, aren't I lucky? Batteries do have to go sometime, don't they? And isn't it lucky that Dean was able to wash windows all day yesterday with no problems so I have the money to pay for a new battery? Really, aren't I lucky? I think I would rather be lucky than cursed. Its all matter of perspective, isn't it?

Thursday, May 04, 2006

One Month With Nothing To Do

I would love to have 1 month with nothing to do - nothing that I HAVE to do, anyways. I am discouraged. We have lived here more than a month now and the boxes are still piled up. I love this house and I love our yard. I would love it if everyday I had nothing to do but get up and arrange my house and my gardens and just putter and sew and make it the way I like. But there is always something going on. Even just having one thing that is only 1 hour long seems to take up so much of the day. Why is that? And the only things that are reasonable things I could cut out are the things that nourish ME - like our homeschooling playgroup.

And Dean is leaving tomorrow and he is going to be gone 10 days. He told me 2 days ago. I am pretty upset about it. And I can see how distressed he is to see how upset I am and I hate for him to leave when I am so upset at him. I know he didn't do it intentionally... But HOW can he NOT think of such a thing and make arrangements for the lack of income while he is gone, etc.?!? Really, how? I wish I could be like that and not always have the heavy mantle of responsiblity on my back. Sometimes I hate being strong and capable all the damn time! So I will wash windows next week. I've already got the week almost booked. Not that I should be climbing ladders... And not that I have the upper body strength to be using the extension pole for extended periods of time... But I am hoping that I will be able to do a few days worth of work. So my already busy schedule will be insanely busy. Hang on a minute... wasn't already insanely busy? What comes after insanely busy?

So how does one act like a grown-up in this situation. Part of me wants to be a grown up and part of me wants revenge - the stronger part. And I want him to suffer like I am suffering. But if something happened to him on his tour (to Saskatchewan) I would be devastated. And I feel sad to think of him feeling so alone and distressed on the road. Then that part of me that wants revenge says in a nasty little voice... "too bad he didn't have the same concern for you..." So really, I want to act like a grown up. How does a grown up act? Where is the line between being a door mat and being kind and compassionate. I thank god for my female friends and their love, concern and support. I'd never make it without them! Truly having a relationship is the hardest damn work there is.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Reflections on my Trip

Here are some things that stand out in my mind.

While at Jelena's who lives on the corner of a busy road in a less priviledged part of the city: The trees were in blossom all around where she lived - I am not sure what kind of tree they are. They look like a cherry tree but the blossoms are much more full and compacted together than cherry trees around here. And the blossoms are very pink. Maybe they are an ornamental cherry tree or Japanese cherry tree? Anyways, the homes were rather ugly around there but Jelena has created a magical place in her little yard - with beautiful lanterns hanging and flowers planted. An ugly blue container van turned onto the street. The blossoms rained down on the van and he left a swirl of blossom petals in the air behind him. That captured it all for me. I was reminded of the beauty and power of nature to overcome ugliness. Especially there on the coast where it is so verdant. Despite 2, 000, 000 people living there, nature abounds and you get the feeling that if everyone left all of a sudden, it wouldn't be long and there would be no sign of the people left.

On Grandma B: It was very good to see her and she seemed quite happy to me. We visited her everyday for a little bit - about an hour each time. On the second visit we also got to meet Jenny which was very nice. Grandma was telling us about how she avoids sitting next to this one woman who at one time ran her fingers through her jello. Grandma told her that 'you don't run your fingers through other people's food' to which the woman replied 'I just did'. So Grandma avoids her. At this point in the story, she says very loudly, that 'life is too short to sit by a pain in the neck like that'. I don't know. It made me laugh inside to hear my 89 year old grandma saying that. Life is too short, indeed! I think she is enjoying all the familial attention that she is getting right now. She sure enjoyed telling everyone that we were 'hers'. I am going to try to write her a letter every month. It is such a little effort and I know that she will enjoy it.

On the Okanagan Valley: As I drove over the Connector and down into the valley, it was clear and sunny. I could see to the far, far side of the valley that encompasses not only the Okanagan but also the Shuswap. I could see the snow caps of the Monashees and the Selkirks gleaming and majestic in the distance. The trees stretched endlessly between. I was overcome by the awesome beauty of nature and this incredible place that I live - the view of time. It is easy to imagine the hard rock pushed up with the rockies and then the volcanic hills, blunted by the ice age - such a miraculous creation, this valley where I live. From the view up there, I can sense the ancient-ness of the land. I imagine people seeing this valley for the first time. I feel so cradled and protected in the mountains. I love where I live. And I wonder how much longer we can go on like this and what it will take for us to find away to live in harmony with nature instead of at war with it or even 'in dominion' of it. We think of ourselves as separate from nature - above it or better than it. We have raped and pillaged the earth and we have not yet realized that all this we have done unto ourselves. When will we? We are destroying the air we need to breathe and polluting the water we need to drink. I remember travelling as a child and stopping at mountain fed streams to drink deeply of the sweet, cold water. We wouldn't dream of doing that now... Such big changes are needed. What are we going to do?

Correction

Upon reviewing Laura's map, she indeed did not say that Cambie met Oak. In my over-tired state, I certainly did mis-hear and mis-read. I get so stressed out driving in Vancouver, anyways. I find the lanes so narrow and the traffic so fast whizzing by on either side of me. I got their eventually, anyways.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Vancouver

Well, we are here. I am using Grandma B's computer right now. So far we are having fun. We travelled here with my good friend Bozenka with the van loaded to the 'rafters' with food she had prepared for her daughter, Jelena's, birthday. After arriving at Jelena's and visiting for a bit, Kaetlyn, Rhi and I went over to Laura's who had made herself the most delicious birthday cake! More like a chocolate omlette! You should post the recipe, Laura! We got to see her newly organized room which really does look good and shows off her furniture!

Then Laura gave me the worst directions I have ever had to get to Grandma B's. Like she said to take Cambie to Oak st. (and don't even think of denying it, Laura, I have it in writing!) When I arrived at Marine Dr on Cambie, I realized that Cambie ran the same direction as Oak. Funny thing about parallel lines... they never meet... But then I was across from Richmond so I knew how to get onto the highway headed for the border (and White Rock).... kind of.... In a round about way, calling on my knowledge of Richmond from when I lived there 18 years ago, I managed. Then her instructions included things like 'and then you get to that gas station'... She didn't mention which way you turn.... I sat there trying to remember in the two other times I have driven it in the last 10 years which one looked more familiar... Of course, I took the wrong one... Eventually we ended up at Grandma B's. We got to visit with Mom until even later and then again in the morning. She left quickly after showing us all 'tricks' we need to know.

We saw Grandma B later. We arrived just as she was finishing lunch. She looked pretty good to me and it was good to hear that her mind was all there. Rhiannon drew her a very detailed picture of a giraffe and we visited for about an hour.

Then we were off to Jelena's again for her birthday celebrations. Kaetlyn and I spent the afternoon helping to prepare the food. Delicious, gourmet food. Little tarts and quiches and salmon and Croatian dumplings and poached pears and salad. We had a great time. Not such a great sleep, though as all 3 of us tried to squish into the double bed sized Murphy bed... But here we are ready for another day. It is cloudy today but I think we will try to make it to the ocean. Right now Kaetlyn is straightening her hair, Rhiannon is playing with her VTech and I am just finishing my blog...

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Ballet Jorgen


Tonight was the last concert of our NOCCA series. It was Ballet Jorgen dancing Cinderella. Rhiannon and I switched our usual afternoon tickets for an evening show. We were right in the front row. A friend got tickets given to her and so she invited Kaetlyn so we all got to go. I loved it. The music was good (not an orchestra but the next best thing) and the dancing was good. It was funny. The step sisters were hilarious! He adapted more ancient versions of the Cinderella story than the disney version so it was interesting - like the fairy came out of a seed for a tree. They had these interesting metal trees that they danced with that looked really cool, too. I thought of so many things to talk to my little dance class about as I watched.

And I remembered while I watched just how much I love ballet - the grace and the beauty and the tremendous control. It occured to me how hard it must be to dance while holding a 100 lbs over your head. And I love these more modern ballets that are more expressive. Of course it was not the panoramic epic of Swan Lake but it was very enjoyable just the same.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Finished

Well, I am done cleaning the 'old house'. It is empty now. Just the bench seat for the van is in the garage. Dean can put that back in the van next week. Kaetlyn and Drew were not quite that thrilled to be spending yet ANOTHER week end moving. Oh well, it is done now. I went back one last time to get the last things and to say good bye. It is sad to think that is the last house that Erin lived at home in. I will go tomorrow and take some of my plants out of the garden - my herbs and some strawberries, I think.

This old house has storm windows and the lady who lived here before siliconed them all in. Sheesh! I finally wrestled one of the ones in my bedroom off. I've been working on it off and on for days! A contractor is coming to take all the storms off on Monday morning but it is over 20 again today and it just gets too stuffy upstairs when you can't open a window! There is a wonderful cool breeze blowing through the house right now. Such a weight lifted to have that house finished. Now I can be fully here. Just here. Unpack, organize, garden, tidy, live, enjoy.

I am supposed to be reading Memoirs of a Geisha for my on-line book club but I can't find it anywhere. I even checked my library account to see if I accidentally returned it but no. I have it. I guess it is time to go and look for it...

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Coaching T-Ball and size 12 cleats...

Well, my insane spring schedule is beginning. Last night was the first night of Rhiannon's t-ball. I took the coaches training and am now a certified level 1 Community Coach. I have an NCCP number. Funny, eh? Now they don't call it T-Ball but that is what it is. Now it is called Lean-to-Play and they have developed it to better suit the abilities of small children. I highly recommend it to any of you who might consider registering your kid in sports. Also considerably cheaper than soccer. Only $40 here for the whole season. So I am one of the coaches of Rhiannon's team. The other coach is named Andrew. What are the chances of that? She plays the same nights as Kaetlyn so I can't be there on Mondays. I am disappointed because really, I would rather watch them both all the time. I don't like watching sports on tv, but I sure love watching my kids! And they were SOOOO cute the other night!

And today was Andrew's soccer practise. We had to rush out and get his cleats before the practise so we were late. Size 12 cleats... His feet are far bigger than his dad's. Do any of my brothers have size 12 feet? They're huge. Like he only had a choice between two kinds of cleats - a Nike pair and an Umbro pair. He got the Umbro pair (I think because they had a snazzy read stripe...). This is the first year I have bought him new cleats. But it gets harder and harder to find gigantic cleats at the sports consignment store... Besides, maybe he has finished growing (feet wise) and these will last for a couple of years... If they don't stink so bad that I have to throw them out... Like last year's cleats... He is the giant on his team and his coach is detirmined to make him 'aggressive'. He actually said that to him. Makes me laugh. Seems to me that John and Layne were never really aggressive soccer players, either. But every coach tries the same thing because he is so big and then they give up and let him play defence which is what he likes to play and what he is actually good at. He likes making those long kicks up the field. He's not much of a runner and he's not fast. Drew and I laughed about the aggressive bit in the car on the way home. You'd think the coach would realize that he has been playing since he was 5 - both indoor and outdoor. I think if he was going to be an aggressive player, he would be by now! Who knows, maybe he will come into it this year.

Our homeschooling group went hiking in Kal Park today - we hiked down to Cosen's bay. It was beautiful and warm. I wore capris and a t-shirt and I was just right - even sweating. Our group consists of mostly girls Rhiannon's age and that was just about all who came along today except for two girls' 7 year old brothers. 5 of the 6 girls (all 5 years old) got naked at the beach and played in the sand and water. You might not know this but at this time of the year, the water is not actually that cold. I mean, it is cold but it is bearable. The water level is still low because the snow packs in the mountains haven't really started melting yet. In a month, the water will be far colder - the leg numbing kind of cold. Today was nice - I even went wading. I really love this area I live in. Spring is so beautiful. The hills were covered with clumps of yellow flowers that I have never seen anywhere else. They are called 'Okanagan Sunflowers' but they are not a sunflower (which are really a kind of zinnia and native to Mexico) Their real name is arrow leaf balsamroot (see below). Anyways, they are really gorgeous this year. The petals were huge and the yellow so bright. It must have been the right kind of spring for them. And you could see the wild lupin starting to grow and pearly everlasting and sage. Such a time of renewal around here. The lake was so still and clear, you could see the clouds reflected perfectly.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Wonderful Easter

Well, I had a wonderful Easter and it isn't over yet! Friday evening I went out with a couple of my women friends from the homeschooling group. One of my friend's brother is in a band - an instrumental surf band and he was playing here in Vernon. So we went out for dinner and then to hear him. He is a cute young guitarist who was schooled through the Waldorf school in Kelowna. It was a very nice evening of connecting with friends which I really needed! During the day, I worked at the 'old house' so the evening was my reward!

Saturday I just relaxed. I felt really tired and lethargic and I have been going so hard, lately that I just chilled. I read most of the book I am reading for a book club I participate in on-line with other homeschooling moms. 5 Quarters of an Orange by the same author as Chocolat. I am really enjoying it and I am looking forward to discussing it!

Sunday, after lying in bed in the morning sunshine and finishing my book, I got up and made chocolate chip pancakes. Yum. No Easter Egg hunt for us yet as Dean was in Canmore. Then we met one of my friends from Calgary (the one I visited in Feb for her birthday and went to the hockey game with) and her twin sister and a friend of theirs from Calgary at the 'old house'. And we cleaned and cleaned with great ferocity. Loaded up the van twice and brought the stuff to the 'new house'. The bulk of the cleaning is done there. Just a little bit left to do and probably two more loads with the van. We were only there for 2 1/2 hours but boy we got ALOT done. I am SO grateful for their help. It meant so much to me to have their support. Thank you again, Sheila, Barb and Nancy! Kaetlyn, Drew and Rhiannon gladly helped, too, with all the enthusiam going around. (well, Drew DID sneak away to play with his friends at one point...) Rhiannon had great fun helping me clean toilets. She wouldn't put her hand in, of course, but she used the scrubber. Funny thing, I like cleaning bathrooms. Perhaps it is how you can take it from scummy to shiny so easily. I always liked cleaning bathrooms - except I hated pinesol when I was younger and claimed it gave me a stomach ache. And I never use any of those new fangled cleaning products - still the same things I used as a child - pinsol, vinager water and comet... Enough bathroom talk!

Then we went for lunch all together (except Andrew who was playing with a friend) at Wendy's and met up with another of Sheila's friends. After lunch we went to Value Village - always a popular store. Kaetlyn found some track pants which she was in need of and Rhiannon found some flourescent green spandex shorts which she LOVES! Everyone tried to talk me out of buying them but hey! You're only 5 once and so what if you wear flourescent green spandex shorts (probably been there since 1992) and it makes you happy for 99 cents! Soon enough it will take $100 to make her happy with her clothing purchase...Next we hit Super Store where I made them push me in a cart because my legs were tired... I didn't last too long, though as the metal was digging into the backs of my knees... Sheila and Barb (who live in Alberta) shopped for good deals on produce and we decided to have a BBQ for dinner and bought stuff to make veggie kabobs and some mozza smokies.

Back at the homestead, I prepared the veggies while Sheila and co. returned to the 'old house' for the bbq and to fill up the propane tank on the way back. Rhiannon and I started making the skewers. She wanted meat on hers so she cut up a smokie and put it on. umm...yuck. So just as we are starting to BBQ, Dean arrived from Canmore. Perfect timing. I LOVE bbq'ed mushrooms. I think it is the best way to eat mushrooms. It was a delicious dinner and it was nice out but a bit cold. And fun to have our bbq here, now. I love to barbecue!

After dinner, Drew, Rhiannon and I went back with Sheila and co. to the hotel to swim in the pool. It turns out the pool was FREEZING! and the hot tub was only lukewarm. So mostly we played in the 'warm tub'. And soon I left Drew and Rhiannon there playing and went to visit with my friends. We left there shortly after 9pm. Rhiannon dropped into bed. All in all, a pretty good day. We will have our Easter dinner today along with our Easter hunt. We don't go for the traditional turkey or ham but are going to have crepes - Strawberry crepes. (do you remember those crepe feasts I used to make for 'the family' and pretend to be the french maid?) I know they are supposed to be dessert but when the first flats of strawberries go on sale (like now) we have a dinner of just strawberry crepes. I'll get started on the crepe part this morning. That part takes alot of time... We'll have the 'hunt' part of Easter just before dinner. It also has the advantage of allowing me to get easter treats at discounted prices ;-). Dean will be washing windows today and I have the drop-in at the Inner World School and then I am counselling a little boy but THEN, I will be home and preparing our Easter strawberry feast!

Happy Easter, everyone!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Pangs

Well, I didn't actually go for a walk or do anything especially wonderful. In the end, I decided that getting caught up on my homeschooling reporting would be the thing that would reduce my stress level the most. So that is what I did. Then rode my bike to the dance class. And the dance class was fine - more than fine - it was fun. So much for getting prepared. The CD's that I brought wouldn't work on the CD player there so I ended up having to 'wing it' anyways. Sheesh!

But what I wanted to write about were motherly pangs (although fathers can have these pangs as well). When Andrew was 2 - 4, we lived not too far from where we just moved to. In fact, you can see our old house from the end our our driveway (across the fields). As I was admiring the view of hills from our yard and looking into Kalamalka Lake Provincial Park, I suddenly remembered when we first moved to the other house. The first week end we were there, we went for a hike in the park. It was my first time hiking in that park. Andrew was 2 1/2, Kaetlyn was just 5 and Erin was 9. It was a warm spring day at the beginning of May. We went to the Cosens' Bay entrance and hiked down to the lake. It turns out that it is 2.5 km's each way. On the way back, which is mostly up hill, I had to carry Drew almost the whole way. He was a big boy, too! I remembered him being so small (even if it was big for 2, it is a lot smaller than he is now!) and his little arms reaching up to me, whining and crying and begging to be carried. My arms were ready to fall off by the time we reached the parking lot. And my heart just ached with the memory and the knowledge that that part is over. So quickly he is not a little boy any more. Now I have to reach up to him! And I just wished (like Emily in Our Town) that I could return to that time for just a moment and be with him as a little boy again.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Alone

All alone. I am all alone and it is 9:22am. Dean has gone to work. Drew has gone to his mentorship for the day and Rhiannon has gone to a friend's house for the day - I'll see her again at dance class at 3:30. The morning was hectic with all those lunches to make and breakfasts. But now the house is quiet. Sooooo quiet. Wow! What a luxury! What to do with a whole day to myself. Well, not entirely a whole day as I am teaching a dance class at 3:30 and right now I am completely unprepared. It is the first class and I am going to be having 9 students (although 2 are missing today). So parents will be hanging out and watching so I had better look good! Yikes. I am going to have to do some pondering! At first my dance class was for 3 year olds and then for 4 year olds and now Rhiannon is 5. The same baby games won't work! Wouldn't it be fun to have Nat in my class as well! It is still creative movement and the emphasis is on having fun, listening to the music and dancing how we feel like. Still, my hear is in palpitations right now. I hate being unprepared. I'll have to GET prepared quickly.

But first, I think I'll go for a nice walk. I'll think about it on the way. Imagine! Having time for a nice long walk at this time of the morning!

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Pride and Prejudice

I hate to disappoint but I couldn't read it. I just couldn't. Perhaps if I had to for a class, I could but on my own, for recreation, I just couldn't. I can't stand that language. It is so wishy washy and indirect. And it is all so frivolous and written from a time when women had so few rights and so little power that they couldn't be direct. I just can't get into it. So it went back to the library. I guess I just can't fit in with the rest of the sisters, *sigh*. So, sorry to disappoint but that is my report. I am reading an Amy Tan book instead - "Saving a Fish From Drowning" which I am enjoying but not as much as I did the others of her books I have read so far.

Otherwise, I am still tired. Moving is still going on. Drew has a soccer game this morning over by the old house so I will go and work some more. Bit by bit. I just wish it was all over!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

More pics

Here is the backyard

















Rhiannon on the swing
















Rhiannon says this would be a good picnic place.
















Well, I am exhausted. Par for the course, I suppose. They are coming to move the piano today. Yesterday I managed to stay here all day and sort and clean and unpack. Not that you can tell that I did... The kitchen looks good, though. The kitchen is really, really huge. Like I am about all unpacked and there are lots of empty cupboards! Like when does that ever happen? Turns out that our closest neighbours also homeschool their two kids who are 5 and 11. What are the chances of that? And they take violin lessons from the same violin teacher. They seem very nice and Rhiannon has been busy playing outside all day everyday since we got here. It has such a great yard and space. She is in heaven! And wow what a difference that makes to me, too. I am here unpacking and sorting quietly by myself with my own music playing and there is no whiney voice following me around asking me to do other things. Not that I don't enjoy her company and doing many things with her. But it is sure nice to be able to get these things done in peace. I am sure you know what I mean, Katie.

Well, I haven't bathed since.... gross.... I can't remember. So I am off to jump into our clawfoot bathtub for the first time.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

New House

So here is the driveway.
















Here is the front of the house






























Back of the house (wet because they pressure washed the moss off the roof today)















From the side - kinda dark but you get the idea - windows everywhere.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Exercise

Well, I have managed to keep up my exercise regimen for 2 weeks. I have ridden my bike 4 times a week and done my '8 minutes in the morning' monday to friday and mostly cut out sugar. I get so hooked into the sugar cycle it is hard to break it. But I think I finally have and I am not craving it anymore. Now I just have to not start again...

Today for my bike ride, Drew and I rode all the way to Coldstream to where we are moving and then back into town. A good work out. Now it is time to get a load ready for the dump...

Friday, March 24, 2006

Books

While packing books, I was remembering how when Erin was little and I looked at all the books that Mom and Dad had and I wondered if I would ever amass as many and I worried about having books for her. Now, as I pack my 20'th box of books, I wonder how I got so many. And I still have more to pack. All my counselling/pyschology books and the books from my bedroom (the inner sanctum books, if you will) have yet to be packed. Those little liquor boxes are perfect for books. I'm moving in a week. Sometimes I have little mini heart attacks thinking about everything that I have to do. This morning I went dumpster diving for boxes.

Keep you posted

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

New House

Well, our move is finalized. We are moving to back to Coldstream. Whew! I am tired of being robbed! We take possession April 1. It is a rural area of Coldstream near where we lived when Dean first became a member of our family. It is an old farm house built in 1898. It has been very well cared for and totally updated - everything from a brand new furnace (2 weeks old) to all new wiring and plumbing. It is the typical old farm house set up - all the bedrooms upstairs around a landing (kind of like 910 Gillette - not that any of you are old enough to remember that house - the house where Laura was born). The bedrooms are all around the same size and with interesting shapes. There is a skylite in one. It has 4 bedrooms - which was a must for us. It has a huge claw foot bathtub yet the bathroom is completely updated with a free standing enclosed shower, as well and lots of room. The biggest bathroom I think I have ever had. Downstairs is a little unusual as it is in houses like this - rooms are funny shapes due to all the updating. The kitchen is gigantic. There are lots of windows. The basement has one useable room in it as well as the laundry facilities but it is rather damp. It has the original rock foundation which looks really cool. The yard is huge, tons of trees, an old orchard with plum and apple trees, walnut trees, rope swing, tree house, basketball hoop. The kids and the animals are going to love it. When we lived in this area before, I hardle had to feed Tigger because of his steady diet of mice in the fields. We are back in the area where Kaetlyn's high school is and just one block away from her best friend. She still takes the bus but it will be a much shorter ride and she could walk if she was feeling athletic. I'll take some pictures of it as soon as I can and post them here for you all to see.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Thursday Morning Pictures

Well, I had to use Kaetlyn's digital camera this morning to take some pictures of Bozenka's art for her. So while I was snapping away, Rhiannon and I decided to take some other pictures. Rhiannon took almost 80 other pictures! She took pictures of her toys, about 10 each of Sheeba and Jodi, of our garden and of our little plants. Me and Dean, too. I've included some of them here. The first one is Rhiannon, of course who loves to actually wear the hoodie of her hoodie.











Next is one shot of our little seedlings. The ones you can see here are mostly zinnias.














Here is one of me that Rhiannon took. I like it.















And here are our little crocuses poking up in the garden that won't be ours any more.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

La Salle

Erin got the news today. She was accepted into La Salle College in Montreal for September. She is doing the Fashion Design program there. She got her letter this morning. She came down the Inner World School to tell me. We're going to go out and celebrate a little tonight! Wow! Montreal. That's a long, long ways away. I am excited for her and sad, too, for myself. I love her so much and she is so much a part of me to think of her across the country, by the Atlantic Ocean is hard. At least she is still in the same country! But so exciting for her - making her dreams come true. I am sure the skills that she learns there she will use for the rest of her life. She loves sewing and designing her own clothes.

So that is my big news of the day. I wrote something profound in the homeschooling online village that I am a part of. Maybe I will post it here. Sometimes I am afraid of posting my passionate beliefs for being judged. But then, if I don't, you won't ever really know me. Then I think, maybe you don't want to. But maybe you do.

Anyways, maybe that doesn't even make sense...

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Star Search Report

Well, Erin didn't make it to the finals. She did an awesome job of Nut Bush - nailed it. She was way more comfortable on stage, she was dressed better. She was much happier with her performance. The judges only had good things to say about her but... 11 out of 22 were advanced. I gotta say that I don't get their selections. They chose some people who had REAL pitch problems. There were a couple of others that I was really surprised to see didn't make it and I was really surprised about some of the ones that they chose. Don't get it. They picked some old, ugly people who were really schmaltzy. Oh well, it always seems to be this way in these kinds of competitions. And like I said to Erin, there are people who make a career out of winning these competitions who never actually have a music career...

Not feeling so great today, either. I'm dragging my butt around. Still in my pj's.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Okanagan Star Search

Well, today is the semi-finals for the Okanagan Star Search. So I am leaving at 12noon with Erin to Kelowna. She's on at 2pm - that means she's got to be amongst the first. Not such a good spot. It seems like they often forget the first. We noticed last time that only one person advanced from the first set and she was the last one in the first set. But they advance 10 people today out of 20. That seems like pretty good odds to me. This time she only gets to sing one song. She's doing Tina Turner - Nut Bush. She sang it at the family reunion. The judges are all older than me so she thought they would like it. I'm going to enjoy it, that is for sure!

I am still sick. Although mostly better now. It seems like I feel pretty good for one or two days and then I wake up feeling like crap or like I could sleep all day. Today is one of those days. I managed to stay in bed until 8am which is quite a feat with Rhiannon. I miss Dean. He left Thursday morning and won't be back until late, late Sunday night. sigh. I hate being on my own when I feel crappy. I am going to make myself some nice tea and try to perk up for Erin.

The for sale sign went up this week. 4 people came to see the house yesterday. That was a little much. So we had to be gone for 4 hours. I took Jodi with us, too. Drew was in Cherryville (45 min away) so I went grocery shopping and then to pick him up and we stayed to visit for awhile (Drew's friend has a little sister who is 1 year older than Rhi). It was a nice visit. The house could be cleaner. I have been so sick for more than 2 weeks. Although the kids and Dean manage to keep the house 'clean', the tidiness factor really starts to slip....

I gotta go pick up Kaetlyn in 15 minutes so I had better go and get dressed...

Monday, March 06, 2006

Orpha Hatch Morrow Scott

Kaetlyn is doing a project for school where she is supposed to do her family history. So I re-typed this for her from the copy that grandma gave me many years ago. I thought you might enjoy it if you haven't already seen it. I think there is an error where she has her mother marrying her father-in-law...

By Orpha Hatch Morrow Scott (not dated)

My father was a polygamist and due to the pressure put on by the US Marshalls at that time in looking for these polygamists he had to go away and as my mother had a profession as a nurse and was more able to look after her family than his second wife was, he took his second wife and went to Moab Utah. I was seven years old at that time. I can well remember what hardships we went through because of this.

When I was 13 years old I became quite ill with anemia and was not expected to live much longer. When I was 14 years old my sister Olive and her husband, Jack Swain, were going to Burlington, Wyoming where my sister, Etta Dobson, was living. They wanted me to go and my mother decided that if I did go and slept on the ground that it may be the one thing that would save my life so I went with them and sure enough, I began to mend and regained my health.

Wyoming at that time was pretty much a frontier. I became very popular around Burlington as I was a very good dancer and that was about the only amusement there was there (except riding horseback).

I secured a job clerking in a store operated by Jim McKinnie. While there I met Mr. McKinnie’s stepson, David L. Morrow who began dating me and we got married Dec 19, 1901. Our courtship consisted of dancing and horseback riding. David and his brother played for dances all over the country so I used to accompany them to the dance and while he played, I danced. Most people around there were shocked when I married David as he was not a member of the LDS church and I was very religiously a member of that church.

My husband was born Nov 13, 1877 in Talmage Ohio where his mother had gone to visit her mother. He was the fifth child. The two eldest died in infancy. He had a sister Laura May and a brother Joseph Wesley. His father died when my husband was one year old. His mother married James McKinnie who homesteaded near Burlington Wyoming and my husband was raised on the ranges of Wyoming where he became a very good rider and roper. He was working in a small sawmill for L. K. Jonston at the time we got married.

My first baby was born Nov 28, 1902 at the home of my sister, Etta Dobson. I had intended to have my baby in our own home at Otto Wyoming. My sister, Olive, came to take care of me but her two little girls took sick with measles and diphtheria which was sweeping the country at that time. So I had to go to Etta’s. My sister Olive lost both of her girls one dying a few days before my baby was born and the other one two days after. My first baby was a son and we named David Lendrum after his father and grandfather. He grew to maturity and became a member of the LDS church. He married Alta Drollinger in the Cardston Temple and they had 3 sons and twin girls. At the time of this writing he lives in Salt Lake City, Utah and is Sales Manager for the Sugar House Van Lines Inc. and has 10 grandchildren. My second child was a girl, Eltie May born Sept 7, 1904 in Claresholm, Alberta, Canada. She grew to maturity and married but has no children. At the time of writing she lives in Los Angeles where she works for a bank where she has been for many years. She became a good pianist and played on radio in its infancy.

My third baby was a son, Ronald Clive born April 8, 1907 at Roundup, Alberta, Canada. He was born at my mother’s home on Willow Creek. He grew to maturity and joined the LDS church. He married Mable Jones and had two children, a boy and a girl. When the girl Marylin was ten days old, her mother died and 12 days later he buried his son, Ronald Gaylen. He remarried Lucille Severns and moved to California where he is now the Bishop of the South Pasadena Ward. He had a daughter, Gale by his second wife. My fourth, fifth and sixth children were girls. Hilma was born Dec 9, 1910 on our farm, 3 miles south of Granum, Alberta, Canada. My mother was the midwife and it was only through her expert knowledge and care that my life and that of Hilma were spared. Hilma grew to maturity and was baptized a member of the LDS church. She is a graduate nurse graduating from the Holy Cross Hospital in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. She married Fred Bullock and has two sons and a daughter. They live in Powell River, BC, Canada. Verna Aleda was born March 2, 1916 in Blackie, Alberta, Canada. She grew to maturity and is a member of the LDS church. She married Clifford Thompson and has two sons and two daughters. They live in North Vancouver, BC, Canada and I make my home with them. Verna is one of the stalwarts in the church and is always doing a good deed. Verna also had a son that died in infancy. So did Hilma.

Laura Madge was born Feb 15, 1919 in Blackie, Alberta Canada. Her father died when she was only 2 years of age. She grew to maturity and is a member of the LDS church. She married Fred Clarke and has at the time of writing seven children, four boys and three girls. They live in Powell River, BC, Canada.

After we were married my husband went back to the sawmill where he was working and I stayed with my sister Olive. About a month later, my husband came back and we rented a small home in Otto, Wyoming where we lived until the next fall except for a few months that we worked for a Mr. Dowse until he sold his farm and went to Canada. The May after my first child was born we left for Alberta Canada. We drove in a covered wagon to the Lewistown, Montana where we stopped to visit my mother who had married Jim McKinnie and stayed there. We remained there for about a month. We left there with our covered wagon and three horses, one of them my saddle horse, Buttons. We crossed the border into Canada the 5th day of July 1903 and proceeded to David’s brother’s place in the foothills west of Granum where they had filed a homestead. Wesley filed on the NW quarter and we filed on the NE quarter of the same section. We built a log cabin and moved into our own home that fall. I knew the greatest joy of my life when we moved into that little log cabin. We sold my saddle horse to buy the lumber for the floor. The cabin was small but oh how much love was crammed into it. I had not had a home since I was a little girl and I was supremely happy there. We traded our home for a wheat farm south of Granum something we always regretted. After several crop failures there we moved to Aldersyde, Alberta where my husband bought grain for the Nation Elevator Co. In 1914 we moved to Blackie Alberta where my husband bought grain for the United Grain Growers. In 1920 we went to Castor Alberta where my husband bought grain for the Alberta Pacific Grain Co. While in this place one of the greatest tragedies of my life occurred. While loading a car of barley, April 29, 1921, my husband was suffocated and taken from me and my family. Thus ended nineteen years of a very happy marriage. We buried my husband in Claresholm, Alberta, Canada. I moved my family to Calgary, Alberta where my eldest son went to work for the company his father had been working for.

In 1925 I married a childless widower, Harry Scott and moved onto his farm west of Gleichen where I worked very hard for several years.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

The Joy Luck Club

Well, after what Katie said about the Joy Luck Club book, I decided to read it. (I didn't like the movie because of the drowned baby.) As I am still quite sick, I have had time this week. I really enjoyed the book, as I have all of the other Amy Tan books I have read. And I must point out that in the book, no one drowns a baby. This annoys me! Why would they add something so terrible to the movie? In the book, the woman who is married into the extremely controlling family and is treated with great disrespect, never even sleeps with her husband and she gets them to release her by faking a dream (rather like Fiddler on the Roof). Another woman is married at 16 to a much older man who is extremely unfaithful and eventually abandons her while she is pregnant. She finds out he has moved in with an Opera singer and then forcibly aborts her baby. Not so nice but also not the same thing as drowning a baby. She is certainly haunted by that experience and blames herself when years later she gives birth to a baby boy with a defect who is born dead or dies shortly afterwards. I am angry at the movie!

I am still sick. I haven't been this sick in a long, long time. Dean says he doesn't think he has ever seem me so sick. It has been a week now. It has been 7 days of aching body and stuffed head and tiredness. I am tired of being sick. Last night I slept with a humidifier to help with my coughing in the night. It did help a lot. I haven't used a humidifier since I was a kid - I hated them. I'll feel a bit better one day and then I will feel as bad as the worst day the next.

On a positive note, Rhiannon and I planted seeds to start indoors for our garden and they are almost all up. We have wee zinnias and daisys and tomatoes and cauliflower and wild lupins and brown eyed susans. Still waiting for my cucumbers and zucchinis to come up. It is fun and exciting to watch them sprout.

Monday, February 27, 2006

A Dream

I had a dream while I was dozing for a just a couple of minutes in my sick bed last evening. In the dream I was at a friend's house (don't remember who) when there came a knocking at the door. It was Laura and I was very surprised to see her and I hugged her. Then Martha came around the corner and I said, "Did Laura pick you up?" (as in gone to get her from Cranbrook because she was leaving Ethan again). She said "no, Doug bought me a plane ticket. I thought you knew." And I hugged her and then Doug came down the walk from his van and I hugged him, too, at the same time. It was a very nice dream. As for why the rest of you weren't in it, I don't know. Maybe I woke up to fast. I kept thinking about it because it felt so good.

Feeling better today. Still sick but more bearable. I woke up this morning with my pj's so drenched that it was like I had put them on right out of the washing machine. Weird. Completely soaked from head to toe.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Sick and Okanagan Star Search

Well, I finally got that flu thing (not the throwing up one - the achey, run over by a steam roller and cough like you are losing a chunk of your lung one). Rhiannon was waking me up 3 - 4 times a night and coughing all over me. I got really tired and run down and I got sick. I hope it is true and that because I have been taking my royal jelly all along, that I am not as sick as I would be. But who can really tell? I did pick up that Cold FX that (I think it was) Amy mentioned in the fall. It did definitely help. I am feeling better now, just got the head cold thing going on.

Despite my sickness, I dragged myself out of bed yesterday and went with Erin to Kelowna where she was entered in Okanagan Star Search. The prize is $1000 and some other perks that she is not so interested in. There were 10 contestants. There were going to advance 3. There were 4 judges - local musicians and music industry types. She did the Fugee's version of Killing Me Softly and Natalie Imbruglia's (sp?) Torn. They were judged on appearance, stage presence, relating to the audience and vocal ability. So she followed the awesome performance (I think the girl was drunk...) The girl was all over the stage and very energetic. (she got first). Erin hardly moved - mostly looked absolutely terrified. Yet, her vocal ability blew everyone else away. She was about 3x louder than anyone else. So they critisized her on her stage presence. But she showed her true musical ability -like the Fugee's track is basically just bass and drums and she had perfect pitch through the entire thing. The Natalie Imbruglia song showed her vocal dynamics and her range. She came in third. She is advanced to the semi finals which are March 11. One of the judges gave her some tips afterwards - telling her that she didn't have to move all over the stage like the other girl - she just had to relax and have fun up there.

It was very fun to be there and hang out with her friends - two who came with her. I was very proud of my girl!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

The good ol' hockey game

I realized that I forgot to mention the hockey game. Highlight of my trip, right? Well, it is rather funny - I thought you would all get a kick out of it. It wasn't the flames. The Flames played on Wednesday. We went to a game the NEXT night. It was the Calgary Hitmen against the Red Deer Rebels. We did have good seats but they weren't the 'publisher's box' (they were directly across from the publisher's box, though, so the numbers were similar and she was mistaken). Our seats were quite close to the ice - just behind and over from Red Deer's box. And you know, that close, I couldn't tell what was happening. I am used to being able to see the entire rink like on tv... There were two Sutters on the Red Deer team and it was being coached by a Sutter (one of the Sutter brothers who played in the NHL). So, I tried to get out of going to the game when I found out it wasn't the Flames but... Sheila would hear nothing of it. It was fun, anyways. The Rebels won. But I chuckled to myself and thought that you would all laugh at me. I didn't take a book afterall.

But wasn't it great to see the women take gold at the Olympics? I love the watching the Olympics although I haven't had much time. It is the only kind of sports that I enjoy watching on TV. I did watch most of that gold medal match. Although, I started doing other things once the score was 4-0. It wasn't really close. I loved watching it for the 'girl power' of it all. I thought their skating and puck handling was pretty good. Why don't we pay women mega bucks to play hockey? Why?

Kaetlyn is making Chinese Fried Rice tonight. She learned how in home ec. I have never cooked it myself. It is sure nice having someone else cook!

Sunday, February 19, 2006

My Calgary Trip

Okay, last installment of my backwards journey and then I am up to date.

So, we took the all night bus to Calgary. It was awful for 3 reasons. 1. It was hot and I had prepared for it to be cold and I hate being too hot and stuffy when I am sleeping. 2. The new ergodynamic seats are not comfortable to lay across as they are slightly 'bucket-ed' - so you get the place where the two seats meet digging into you. 3. I couldn't really sleep with Rhiannon on a separate seat - because what if something happened to her while I was asleep? Andrew had the same problems and when he thought I was asleep, he couldn't sleep because he was worried about Rhiannon, too. What a kind boy I have! Rhiannon however, slept soundly the whole way there. I am sure that was a blessing!

Sheila picked us up around 5:30 and we piled into her truck and headed towards the SW of Calgary where my friend, Ronni lives. We had breakfast at a Humpty's and I was surprisingly hungry. I am usually not hungry in the morning but I guess staying awake for most of the night increases one's appetite. Then we headed to Ronni's which was near by. I was at Ronni's until Friday evening. I love hanging out with Ronni. We talked, we laughed, we just had a great time being around each other. The only thing is that it is always hard to leave her. I always wish that we lived closer. I did get some shopping in at Value Village (right across the street). We got Andrew 7 pairs of jeans. Lets see how long those last... And I did get myself a couple of things and we got Rhiannon a winter jacket - her zipper completely broke just as we were leaving for Calgary. I love Value Village!

Sheila picked us up with her twin sister, Barb in the Hummer that she had rented for their birthday (Feb 11). It was very fun to ride in - there is certainly lots of leg room in the back! Sheila had a work party the next day and some other friends came over and we worked on her place. Mostly we worked on doors. She had got all new doors for her place - doors that needed to be chiselled and drilled. I am now a very good chiseller... (but I didn't start that way!) We went to see Curious George (Sheila's favourite book) that night. It was cute - I hightly recommend it for all of your children. On Sunday, Sheila and Barb played ball hockey (floor hockey?) and we went to the zoo with some other friends. Rhiannon and I loved the zoo. Andrew was not quite so impressed. We saw a baby hippo and it is always just so awesome to see live giraffes and zebras and elephants and the lions put on quite a show! And I love to see the Bison (and a little sad, too) and imagine how they once roamed the prairies...

We did more work on Monday. It was rather hilarious. Barb was gone so it was just Sheila and I and we struggled all day with this one door. We just kept making mistake after mistake - first it was upside down, then one of the hinges was on backwards, then the screw came out, etc., etc. In the end, we were laughing so hard... And then we were on our way back home on Tuesday morning.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

My Valentine

So, more on the backwards journey... I got home from Calgary on the bus at 3:35 to be picked up by my husband. We don't generally do much for Valentine's Day - we both kind of see it as a commercial holiday. But he had missed me and he was leaving early the next day to Whistler where Redfish was playing. So he had arranged for us to go out for dinner. We came home and I checked all my messages and my 1, 000, 000 e-mails and glanced quickly at some blogs and then got ready for dinner. I wore a little black skirt (not that little) and a red sweater. I did my hair in a bun as I am hair challenged. (I've never been able to do it the way you did, Laura. It is NOT easy for me! It sounds simple when you describe it and it seemed simple when you did it but it ends up looking like a lump on my head when I do it. I spent too much time doing yours and Katie's and Martha's hair and not enough time learning to do my own...) And I was all ready and I was waiting for Dean. And I was having those uncharitable thoughts like Katie did about Brent and the jello because I was waiting and I am not very patient sometimes. So I called downstairs "well, if you're not really into it..." That was the wrong thing to say (or perhaps the right thing as things turned out...). I hurt his feelings. But of course, being a guy, he got mad. So then we are in the car, being mad and driving around trying to get in the right mood to go out for dinner (or else what is the point? The point is not eating but being together). And we are both talking and both rather mad. Then finally something shifted. And he told me that I hurt his feelings (not in those exact words but in more manly words) and went on to tell me how much he had missed me and how lonely he had been without me and how sometimes he just needs to be near me. How he was sad to be leaving the next day even though it was to a primo gig, he just wasn't into it and wished he could stay home. And how much I mean to him.

It was the sweetest thing. It meant so much to me. And I hate to admit it but I was a little surprised to hear how I had hurt his feelings - to hear that I could affect him that way. I guess because guys act differently, maybe we don't realize how our uncharitable behaviour affects them. It meant so much to me to hear him say those things. He seldom talks like that and puts it into words without me prodding him first. So we went out for dinner feeling very close and had a great meal and very meaningful conversation. It was probably more meaningful than it would have been if I had not been impatient in the first place... I love my husband and I am very grateful to have him in my life. He is such a blessing - such a gift. He loves me well.

Ski Tales

Well, I have lots to share but I will start with the most recent and work backwards. Sorry to all of you chonological people...

Rhiannon and I had our second xcountry lesson yesterday. We had a different teacher who was really good and we both learned a lot. And it was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and the snow was so sparkly - with those giant flakes that look like sparkly pablum. Then we had our lunch and visited with other homeschoolers. Then Rhiannon and I went skiing together - just the two of us. Rhiannon was doing really well. She hardly fell at all. I would let her ski ahead of me and then I would pass her and wait so that I got a bit of a work out. I loved the feeling of my quads working and pulling and stretching. It was a satisfying feeling. The xcountry trails at Silver Star are really poorly marked so we were just happily going along when we discovered that we were actually on a blue trail (intermediate). It got very hilly. Rhiannon said "This is not cross country skiing, it is uphill skiing". It was. It really was. At one point, Rhiannon had taken off her skis to walk up yet another hill. I had one of her skis and she had the other. Then she dropped it and it skidded away in the track very fast. She ran after it. Couldn't catch it. Lay down weeping. I took off my skis and climbed down to get it. I guess it wanted a little ski on its own. It wasn't that far. Then we climbed to the top of that hill and lay down in a snow bank. There was no one around. It was so quiet and still. We could just hear the wind softly in the trees. It was beautiful. We enjoyed it for awhile and then continued. We ended going down quite a few hills. And I did okay. I was really scared at first but I did alright and the more often I went down a hill, the more confident I was. This week the snow was easier to handle and I was able to stop with both legs.

We were 3 hours on that trail before we made it back to the village. Boy we were pooped. I had worked so hard skiing and acting as a human rope tow for Rhiannon up the hills. But it was good. I was proud of myself and Rhiannon. She is such a little trooper and I am glad that she enjoys these outdoor things like I do. That night she said to me, "I have a different kind of ache. I don't have a stomach ache, I have a leg ache". Poor kid. I gave her a soak in epsom salts and she is fine today. Did you know that espsom salts really work for muscle aches? I don't know why but they do. I used the same technique and I am not stiff today. Turns out I like xcountry skiing a lot more than I used to.