Pangs

Well, I didn't actually go for a walk or do anything especially wonderful. In the end, I decided that getting caught up on my homeschooling reporting would be the thing that would reduce my stress level the most. So that is what I did. Then rode my bike to the dance class. And the dance class was fine - more than fine - it was fun. So much for getting prepared. The CD's that I brought wouldn't work on the CD player there so I ended up having to 'wing it' anyways. Sheesh!

But what I wanted to write about were motherly pangs (although fathers can have these pangs as well). When Andrew was 2 - 4, we lived not too far from where we just moved to. In fact, you can see our old house from the end our our driveway (across the fields). As I was admiring the view of hills from our yard and looking into Kalamalka Lake Provincial Park, I suddenly remembered when we first moved to the other house. The first week end we were there, we went for a hike in the park. It was my first time hiking in that park. Andrew was 2 1/2, Kaetlyn was just 5 and Erin was 9. It was a warm spring day at the beginning of May. We went to the Cosens' Bay entrance and hiked down to the lake. It turns out that it is 2.5 km's each way. On the way back, which is mostly up hill, I had to carry Drew almost the whole way. He was a big boy, too! I remembered him being so small (even if it was big for 2, it is a lot smaller than he is now!) and his little arms reaching up to me, whining and crying and begging to be carried. My arms were ready to fall off by the time we reached the parking lot. And my heart just ached with the memory and the knowledge that that part is over. So quickly he is not a little boy any more. Now I have to reach up to him! And I just wished (like Emily in Our Town) that I could return to that time for just a moment and be with him as a little boy again.