Saturday, August 05, 2006


Well, so much to write about! We had Erin's goodbye party for her on Sarah's birthday (August 3).

I have the most awesome friends! I really wanted to make Erin a blanket out of our sheep's wool that I had made into quilting batting. But there was so much going on all the time, I just didn't get it together. With 2 days to go until the party (and we're leaving camping tomorrow), two of my friends made sure I got it accomplished. True, I was up until 3am the night (morning?) before the party but I got it done. I made her a duna (that is a duvet that has wool inside instead of feathers) so that she can change the covers for it to suit whatever she is into at the time. I made the cover olive green on one side and cream on the other.

At the party, I had many of my closest friends and their young daughters here. I did a little ceremony in the living room with all of us (only girls). I had so many things planned out in my head to say that were so meaningful but most of it went right out of my head. I am going to write it out for her, though, so she will have it. I gave her 2 ribbons - a red one that symbolizes the blood that binds us - my blood that made her - the umbilical cord that was cut at birth. And I gave her a green ribbon to symbolize our hearts that bind us that can never be cut. I told her that what I want more than anything is for her to know me and for me to know her - truly. There were so many other things that I wanted to say - how I know I made many mistakes in our life together and how each one that hurt her is written in my soul. How proud I am of her. Even, now as I write all of this here, emotion overwhelms me and I forget. Bit by bit I will get it written. Maybe it is because the only thing that really matters is how much I love her! I cried and my friends cried. I wish I could be more eloquent when my emotions run so high...

But do you know what the most surprising thing for me was? Dean was leaving the next morning at 4am for Pincher Creek. Yet in the middle of the night, he wakes me up and asks if this is the last time he will see Erin before she goes and then he gets up and writes her a letter. I don't think he slept at all. I wept to read the letter the next morning. So beautiful and I am so grateful that he loves her like that and that he recognizes how important his fatherly love is to her. It was an answer to so many, many prayers I prayed on her behalf.

We are going camping tomorrow for a week to the Kootnays. We are going to be in New Denver and Silverton - where grandpa got his first teaching job. I've never been there and I'm looking forward to it. But we got a lot to do today...

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