Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I have an exceptional mother...

This is an excerpt from an e-mail that my mother sent to my sister-in-law, Esther.

Hi Esther,

Thanks for appreciating what I shared. I'm a little embarrassed by your reaction---I am not extraordinarily intelligent. Although I learned to read easily and I did do well in school---I am no genius. From my experience I want others to know that you do not need to be a genius or have special training to be inspired how to teach your own child. Schools and Psychologists try to make you feel that way some times. I remember when Jordan's teacher said she didn't think I was qualified to teach him sex education. Another one of my thoughts is that psychologists, who are usually men, have done mankind a disservice when they intimidate mothers from following their own intuitions and follow the latest worldly psychology instead. Heavenly Father does not send his pure and vulnerable babies to psychologists and only the educated. He sends them emotional, intuitive mothers who have powerful instincts built right into their very beings---I truly believe in the divine right of mothers for inspiration for any particular child who is given to her. I found myself to be a very fierce mother---couldn't help it---you have probably heard the story that I was so protective of my first newborn that I wouldn't even let my visiting mother-in-law hold her (how embarassing is that) Fortunately she was kind , patient and forgiving--and I did get over that. But I had very powerful feelings and had to go with them. Fortunately for me, my domineering husband soon realized there would be no rest or peace in our home if he ignored or crossed any of these strong feelings I had about the care of my children, so he honoured my feelings even if he didn't agree and thought I was being silly. He realized my feelings were much more deeply rooted than his thoughts and whims. For the most part that is. I'm a hard woman to live with when my maternal instincts are crossed. I once read a magazine article that said that a mother holding her newborn infant could intuitively tell you more about it than a team of psychologists studying it for months. After reading that, I injoyed trying to verbalize feelings I had about my new baby about their personality and character.

Some examples of how psychologists can be some times because they are not Moms is: There was a member of the church in Prince George for awhile who was church psychologist. At a parenting class he was teaching us, he tried to make the point that we should only pick up our infants when they are not crying, otherwise you are reinforcing them to be whiners and cry babies. How does that sit with you? Some men will say, ya , that is logical. But that goes totally against the grain of a mother who knows by instinct that she is teaching something far more important and basic by responding to the cry of her child---such as, I love you, I will respond to your needs, you are important to me, you are safe with me and because I am respecting your cry for help like this you will grow to be a loving, caring , empathetic person---I am teaching you that---and furthermore, you will grow up feeling secure and will not feel such a need to be a clilnging, whining, cry baby.

Another example; Don't talk baby talk to your baby or they will grow up talking baby talk. On the other hand, it is a natural instinct to talk baby talk to an infant, and I feel very strongly that it helps their intellect to develop faster than if you don't---because they "get it" faster and they can say it faster, therefore they are having the excitement of successful communication sooner and it is very rewarding to them. ie----if you hand a baby an item and say ta ta and then reach for it and say ta ta---they get it and can soon proudly say it---whereas it would take them much longer to figure out and repeat, "will you please give me that"----great baby language is Mama, Dadda or Papa---Num num because that is such a basic need---oh oh---how many babies love to say oh oh and know it means they have dropped or spilled something? Their ears seem to pick up the double sound to start with. And of course there is Byebye, ca ca and one of my favourites---I show them their toe toes when I change their diapers---and bum bum. To talk in sentences and use more correct words will flow natuarally and more quickly than if you don't use baby talk, in my oppinnion. You see I am very oppinnionated....

3 comments:

Heather said...

You really do have an exceptional mother. She sounds like an amazing woman. I wish all new mothers had someone like your mom in their lives. What a great wealth of knowledge and experience.

las cosas de mi vida said...

I am still in shocked... I mean, I knew your mom was phenomenal from the beginning, and she's shown her excellence to me in several ocasions...but THIS I truy appreciate. She is a huge example... evan says she is like that for having 12 kids... I say she was like that already, that's why Heavenly Father send 12 of His precious spirits to her!...
PS: I'm not having 12!! HAHAHA

Monique said...

Your mom is really wise Andrea, and I know that she did a good job because I know you! You are all those things she was aiming for!