No Longer Anonymous

It has been years now that the meat I eat has mostly been the flesh of animals that I have known.  It is something that people often ironically think is barbaric as they go on eating the flesh of animals who have actually been raised in truly barbaric conditions with no respect for their animal souls.  But that's another story. 

Since I got my first sheep in 2008, I have been hoarding their wool in paper bags in my basement with many dreams of what I would do with all that luscious fibre.  Slowly I have been having some of it spun up.  And then it sat in balls.  I felt so much pressure about what to make with it.  I had to be good.  It had to be significant.  It had to be meaningful...

And so it sat until this last Christmas.  I tried to knit Kaetlyn something out of Renauld's lamb's wool.  I thought it would be cool to send some of his Icelandic wool back to Iceland...but it was too bulky and heavy for what I wanted to do and I gave it over for some black angora.  Then when musing with some of my dance mom's who sit and knit during dance class, one of them suggested this: www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/ovate for Renauld's full bodied wool.

I dove in and made the short one with Renauld's black wool.  It really is as quick as they say.  Even though I had to frog it several times until I got the lace pattern right and I, in fact, knit it entirely up only to realize that my characteristically tight tension had made a shawl for a thin 11 year old... before I sent it to my niece, Natalie, I frogged the entire thing again and relaxed while I knit.  Even all that I did in the matter of 2 maybe 2 1/2 hours.  Perhaps this yarns isn't quite as thick as the rasta recommended but I still think it turned out.

It was a curious thing when I came to put it on (and I've worn it a couple of times)...  This was not anonymous yarn.  This was 100% the wool of my beloved ram, Renauld.  It was his wool I was wearing on my back.  And a whole idea opened up to me... like how all that wool I have been knitting with, all those balls that are taking over my (house) knitting room (?!) come from animals who have lives.  This was not anonymous yarn from an animal I did not know.  It is a significant connection to my sheep, to this land that grew the grass that fed the sheep that grew the wool.  A glorious, grateful connection. 

How much we have lost in this industrial age that has separated us from where 'things' come from - from the cows our milk comes from, the chickens our eggs come from, the animals our meat comes from, the sheep our wool comes from....  We have lost more than we are even aware of.

So I dedicate this post to Renauld to whom I am grateful for the gorgeous gift of his soft lamb's wool. And perhaps more importantly for the gift of awareness of my connection to all that is. 

Renauld 'mighty one'

Freshly shorn wool

Fresh off the needles

blocked

On my shoulders...

Puppies!

December 29 Jasmine gave birth to 7 puppies 5 females and 2 males.  They have pretty much predominated our lives ever since.  Great plans to blog about them were swept away with all the time spent cleaning up after them.  It has been alot of work and very fun.  Its almost over.

Originally we were going to wait another year to breed Jasmine and Hugo but I discovered that living with an un-neutered dog in the house was not really my thing.  Jasmine didn't go into her first heat until she was almost 1 year old so we decided to go for it and get Hugo fixed once we were sure he was successful.  So this will be his last litter.  So we are enjoying it all the more.  And they seem to have mostly Hugo's genes - like he had to get it all out in his one chance to pass them on.  Hugo is a sweet, lovey, affectionate dog.

This is Jasmine just before Christmas with her taut belly beached on the couch with Sampson.

On December 29, we knew she was in labour all day.  She occasionally whimpered and went in and out of the den we prepared for her in the downstairs bathroom - often lying in there for long stretches of time - very uncharacteristic of this active dog.  Just as Dean and I were sitting down to watch a movie, the first one arrived with very little fanfare after all that whimpering all day.  She just popped it out with no fuss at all.

 Here is the first born pup.  We called her 'first born' for a long time and then Eryn named her Daisy.  We kind of have a flower theme when it comes to female dog names.  You'll see.  Daisy has been sold to a friend of ours originally from Coldstream who now lives in Vancouver.  She'll be heading down there on the 23rd.  She has markings almost identical to Hugo's Mom in Penticton.

Dean and I sat there, watching our movie and helping as needed.  Dean had a heating pad in his lap and everytime a new one was coming down the pike, we picked up the others to keep them out of the way.  As long as they were warm, they were quiet and then Jasmine didn't mind.  Jasmine just set to work efficiently and with very little fuss.

 We settled them in a kiddie pool under the table in our downstairs bathroom - very den like.  They were pretty happy there.  Every so often we took all the bedding out to wash it.  Here they are waiting for clean bedding in a laundry basket.  You can see they are all mainly black except for the one brown one whom we call Rosie.

Here's JJ (Jasmine Junior)

And here's Rosie

 They grow so fast from fat sausages with their eyes closed and tiny little drooping ears.  At 10 days their eyes started to open and they started to move around - mostly flailing with their limbs as they laid on their tummies.

At 4 weeks we listed them for sale on Kijiji. The following are shots from their official puppy photo shoot.  It has become the trend to advertise and take deposits on puppies even before they are born or when they are just hours old.  I wanted people to be able to interact with the puppies and look into their eyes so we didn't put them up for sale until they were 4 weeks old.

This is Lightning

Lightning has a white jagged stripe down his underside.  Kind of like a lightning bolt.  He is also known as fluff bucket.  He will have border collie type fur.  He started off as the shiniest and now he is just the fluffiest.  He is one of the smallest but he's got swagger.  We adore him.

Another one of Rosie

 This one is either Hugette or Blue - both little Hugo clones.  Hugette is a female and Blue is a male.  Dean has always wanted to name a dog Blue.  We think its a dumb name but he got to name the puppy.  Unlike Hugo who is completely black, they each have very small white spots on their chests and Hugette has about 6 white hairs on the tip of her tail.  They have short fur like Hugo.  Blue is the biggest of all the pups and Hugette and Daisy are the second largest.

Sadly Jasmine doesn't really get to play with the pups as all they want to do is suck on her.  However, Hugo plays for hours with them.  They have learned to wrestle and play and they can frequently be seen climbing all over him with various pups chewing on his tail, his ear and his paw at the same time.  He loves it.  He's a great dad!

Here is their first day outside into the snow.

Daisy playing with Papa

7 pups in the snow

 Did you know that black animals have the hardest time getting adopted from shelters?  Its because black animals are so hard to photograph.  Look at these 7 pups.  So hard to see an individual.  Even Rosie looks black in this picture.

 And here they are today in the sunshine.  The snow is quickly melting around here.  You can get a much better view of them.  That is Lightning sitting beside Hugo.  You can see how shiny he is with the sun reflecting off his soft curls.

Hugo with Lightning and Daisy

Belle Star

 This little girl is Belle Star. she is all black with a white star on her chest and 3 white hairs on the tip of her tail.  Eryn is planning in keeping her.  So we'll get to see alot of her as she grows up.  The whole expression on her face here is so 'Hugo'!

Rosie on the stairs

Lightning and Belle Star

Daisy, Rosie, Belle Star and JJ have all sold.  That leaves Lightning, Blue and Hugette.  Three more to go.  Hopefully they will all find homes this week.  As much fun as they are, I am looking forward to the time when my day does not revolve around mopping floors....

Christmas for Kaetlyn

 This Christmas was the first one that we were not all together as a family.  Kaetlyn remained in Iceland getting the full Icelandic holiday experience - so different from North America.  This post is for her.  I have to write about it so I can move on with the other posts piling up in my brain.  Here are the photos of Christmas Eve that we spent at Gardom Lake with my friend, Bozenka and her family.  She is Croatian so Christmas Eve is the main event.  We were so honoured to be included!  These are just grainy non-flash photos I took with my iPad.  Notice the waves and the smiles, Kaetlyn.  Those were for you!

Bozenka in the kitchen!

 

Goranka and Eryn chatting (see my apron on the chair?  I got up to take the picture.  Insert me in that chair!)

Jelena madly wrapping right up to the last minute!

The line up for the food.... ah, the food!

The food....

 

Waiting to dig in!  It was awesome!

 And that's it.  I didn't get any photos of present opening or even Christmas morning.  I was too busy just being there.  We had a dinner for 10 at our house Christmas Day.  The biggest turkey we grew (22.5 lbs)was consumed along with the usual fare.  All good but there was always someone missing!  Love you!

Dance a Little

Last Wednesday night, I lay in bed with the sense of jumping of the high diving board.  There was no going back, now and I was about to be immersed.  The next day was the dress rehearsal for my fall performance.  What had begun with a line of chairs at one end of the studio when I first began, had become a performance on a stage in front of too many people to fit inside our dance hall.  The Vernon Rec Centre Auditorium was rented.  I'd sold tickets. And I was expecting about 150 people.  Wow.

My Advanced Creative Ballet class dancing in the sunshine.

 In a culture that is increasingly pushing children to aspire to be accomplished athletes/dancers/gymnasts/musicians while they are still of an age to be experimenting and discovering what they like to do - when it is supposed to be recreation, I offer something different.  Too many people want their child to be the next sensation.  I offer dance classes that buck the trend.  Once a week for an hour, they come to an old hall with an excellent hard wood sprung floor - made for dancing.  We spend half an hour on technique and half an hour dancing as they please.  And gratefully, over the years, people who appreciate my approach have found me.

Grand Jete's - every class' favourite exercise

 In the almost 8 years I have been offering this style of creative ballet lessons, I have been blessed and in awe of the young dancers that unfold before me - the natural grace, the creative ideas, the willingness.  I love ballet and it brings me such great pleasure to share that love for an afternoon a week.  

Our performances are like none other that I have ever seen with large segments of improvisation.  We work on it for 6 weeks.  They choose their character and their music and they each create their own dance.  My oldest girls have gotten into doing more structured choreography but they still love the free dance, too.  The performances they come up with are so much better than anything I could have told them to do - any sequence of steps they could have memorized; far better than simple steps awkwardly executed.  There is no awkwardness in their performances.  There is grace and beauty and amazing dancing.  I was showing a video of one of the dances to a girl I am working with.  She watched spellbound and says with a matter-of-fact tone to me, "she's not going to screw up, is she?"

Now my dance classes involve 2 of my daughters.  My youngest in my advanced class and my oldest daughter teaching jazz and tap.  As a mother, I couldn't be more proud.  This was Eryn's third performance with me.  

And this dance performance was a special one.  Our first on a real stage.  They were excited and nervous and it was awesome.

Eryn and I doing introductions

Eryn's Intermediate Jazz class - Rhiannon on the far left.

A passionate young ballet dancer

All the dancers on stage

A young ballet caterpillar getting her rose

At my very first dance performance in the spring of 2005 with a gang of 4 year olds, I started this tradition. As I say, real dancers get roses and so I always hand out a rose to each of my students while saying something about them.  Its how we end our evening.  I was so proud of them all!

In the Service of Rabbits

I spent the day Saturday and Sunday in the service of rabbits.  Yes, when you have this many rabbits (currently 59 lagomorph residents at Dandelion Meadows - many of those are transitory).  And really, when you choose to have animals in your life for whatever reason, whether it is pets for companionship, dogs to guard you or farm animals for their products (eggs, meat, fibre, skins and milk) you are choosing to serve them.  Of course, they serve you, too but sometimes I would be hard pressed to say who serves who more!  Sometimes I feel the sacredness of our arrangements.  Yesterday as Dean and Rhiannon were gone to Penticton and Kelowna with the Youth Symphony Orchestra performances, it was very quiet as I worked by myself cleaning and doing small repairs and moving cages.  I did so with great love for my rabbits and contemplated my service to them.

I had to come to terms to with the fact that my father is no longer really able to help me, despite what he says and my son has moved to a different city.  My husband is not 'handy' so that leaves me.  Last spring there was great talk of all that was going to get built for rabbits.  Consequently I tripled my meat rabbit breeding herd.  However, the promised hutches never materialized and temporary cages were used for far too long.  In the end, I just had to do what had to be done.  My two largest hutches, built for growing out meat rabbits were in dire need of repairs and I had been unable to use them for several months.  I fixed one by myself which took me more than 6 hours just to replace the wire bottom.  The other one Dean helped and it was done in much shorter order.  Although either way it did mean some time lying on my back in what might or might not have been rabbit pee....

In the summer I acquired about 20 wire cages along with feeders and water bottles.  However they need a frame or shed to be mounted on and also to provide shelter from the elements.  These frames have yet to be built...  Yesterday I had a brainwave of how to set up some of them on top of saw horses and an old piece of plywood.  I used trays along the back to protect them from the North wind and another piece of plywood on top and some paper feedbags to fill in the gaps and protect from the weather.  So my 8 unsold young Satin Angora bucks moved into their new high rise.  They had been living in sibling groups for far too long and their wool is matted and gross.  I will clean them up and attempt to sell them one last time before they meet their fate... er meat their fate.... whichever.  I cleaned out the cages they had been inhabiting and re-installed the rabbits who they were intended for.

In the winter, we move the rabbits closer to the house to make the trip with frozen water bottles a little shorter.  They are almost all moved.  One more set of cages to go.  It is a great feeling of satisfaction to have served my rabbits so well!

Here is 2 sides of 'Rabbit Square' or 'Winter Quarters'.  See the rabbit high rise there?

Here is the other side you can't see

If you had an angora for a cagemate, wouldn't you snuggle up to her?

Learning

For many years I have comfortably occupied the position of teacher.  I am a teacher as a mom; I was a teacher at NOEES for 5 years; I have taught many workshops at the Inner World School and I have settled into being a dance teacher. 

It has been awhile since I have experienced the genuine vulnerability of learning from someone else.  Sure I have learned lots through reading and discussion and its one thing to learn a new knit stitch its another to put yourself in a completely foreign environment.

At the IPE, I watched the stock dog trials as I like to do, having a love of Border Collies since my childhood dog, Buck.  Afterward, I went to talk to the handlers as the audience was invited to do and met Lee Lumb.  Lee trains and competes with stock dogs and she teaches people how to work stock with their dogs.  Through a series of e-mails I came to be on her farm with Hugo and Jasmine a few weeks ago.  It was determined that Jasmine was the one worth working with so almost every week since then as found her and I on our way to Lavington. 

My initial understanding was that stock dog training was kind of like obedience training just more complicated.  She would learn some complicated set of instructions and I would learn how to administer them....  Wow, was I wrong.  Basically, Jasmine through the innate senses of her breed already knows exactly what to do.  Its me that has to do all the learning - learning how she responds to the pressure of my body.  Learning how this pressure makes her do different things.  In the 3 lessons we've had, I've learned how to get Jasmine to go out and around the sheep and change directions.  When Lee goes in there, she can get Jasmine to do a whole lot more.

That feeling, the first time I tried to do it and failed spectacularly, was a very vulnerable experience.  Lee is very matter-of-fact and she has a good sense of humour but to realize just how completely clueless I was was something.  It was something compared to how badly I wanted to learn it.  I was reminded just how vulnerable you feel when you are learning something completely new.  And how as an adult, it has been a long time since I was really in that position.  I really, really want to learn this skill.  The idea of having a dog to help me move my sheep appeals to me, especially as my children wander off into the world and my helpers dwindle.  It reminded me of the courage and determination that it takes to learn in a situation like that.  It renews my respect for my students and reminds me of the great trust I hold.

And really, its a very refreshing thing to do.  When was the last time you put yourself in that position?

Changing of the Guard

Yes, things sure are changing around here - inside the house and out.  Renauld who has been my main ram for 4 years has gone to spread his seed at another farm.  He still belongs to me and I'll get him back when he's done in a year or two.  He is actually rather valuable as sheep go.  I accidentally made a fantastic purchase when I was just a newby to Icelandic sheep.  He has amazing wool and lots of it and he makes good meat lambs and he's friendly (if a little overbearing at times... you can ask Dean about that who has been the recipient of a few 'friendly'... er... nudges)  I have traded him (but not for keeps) with a fellow Icelandic Shepherd for this fellow.  Kaetlyn and her family in Iceland have named him Thor.  But you have to say it the Icelandic way which sounds more like Toor with a little breathiness for the 'h' after the T.  See Thor (say it right, now!) there with that little black spot on his knee and that blaze on his nose?  Remind you of anyone?  Yes, me too.  You're thinking Draga, right?  Of course you were because you follow all my sheep with great interest... right?  Anyway, I am hoping for a spotted ewe lamb next year with a black spot on her knee and a blaze like that.  Spotting is a recessive gene so this guy has 2 copies of it and I know Eirina carries one copy and I am hoping that her daughter, Lifa does, too.  All that would give me a good chance at spotted lambs next year.

In the meantime, I am missing my big black ram.  He had a powerful presence and the whole flock seems a little.... lost without him.  He was the man in charge and now they're left with a boy for now...

More changes coming....

Changes

This song has been going through my head.  There sure have been a lot of changes around here.  Its shocking sometimes when Dean and I talk and consider that in January at the beginning of this year we were all together in Mexico - Eryn and Tyler, Kaetlyn and Nadia and Andrew and Chelle, and Dean, Rhiannon and I.  We had a fantastic time and we really enjoyed being a family there together.  And then just 2 months later, Kaetlyn was home again.  Her and Nadia split up.  And now she is off in Iceland for a year.  Too far to come home for holidays, that's for sure!

And then, shockingly and very abruptly Eryn and Tyler split up just over a year since their wedding and less than a year since their fantastic honeymoon.  Eryn wrote about it here.  By the end of October, if other plans don't happen, she will be moved in here to save money to leave in the spring and then she will be off on her own adventures.

And then on September 16 Andrew moved to Kamloops.  He and Chelle have moved into a basement suite of her grandmother's.   His plans changed several times and then bam he was gone.  I walked by his empty bedroom several times, leaving the door closed like he was still here...  When I finally went in, there were tears in my eyes... my boy...  I looked around at what he left behind - a homeschooling chemistry book, the end of one of my USB sticks he denied using, his desk, his box of memories...  Its good and its time for him to be out on his own and moving on with life's next experiences for him but I miss him.  There is something about having a son.   He was my helper and handyman from the time he was big enough to heft my suitcase which was bigger than him.  His is the biggest hole right now.  The one I am not used to.

And there you have it.  In 6 short months we went from being a family that required a place setting of 12 with lots of family events that everyone was at to suddenly me and Dean and Rhiannon knocking about in this big old farmhouse with too much room.  We could take the leaf out of the table. (except where would I pile all that stuff then, like ripening tomatoes and junk?)

Big changes.  Suddenly I am completely without handymen (Tyler was very handy and built me rabbit cages, fixed rabbit cages and did many other handy things and yes Dean is still here and no, Dean is not handy but he is many other great things).  Suddenly I have a daughter abroad and my son lives in a different city.   Suddenly it is very quiet around here for big stretches of time.  Things are still shifting.  Suddenly I have time to myself.  We'll see where it all ends up.

September 14

Twelve years ago in the year of the dragon our little dragon came into the world, early in the morning.  My how things change

Kaetlyn and Rhiannon 2000

Fourth child and seven years younger than her nearest sibling, she has always been a force to be reckoned with!

Rhiannon and I taken with a very old webcam as we try to capture the difference in our eye colour - her blue, me green.

Benefits of homeschooling: practising violin in your pyjamas...

Dressed for a dance performance.  Beautiful girl.

Always a flair for her own fashion...

New Denver creek walking

Styling... she asked me to take this photo, she was so pleased with her 'look'.

Animal lover with baby Splash

Jumping at the beach with bff Megan

Playing the piano with Splash

Getting too cool....

My bud and travelling companion on the ferry summer 2012

With her Auntie Katherine at her cousin's wedding.  I do think they look alike!

I have been thinking lately about how fast childhood passes - that magical time in our children's lives.  Oh how I miss it!  Not my own, that is but that of my children - the innocence, the love, the creativity and the confidence.  All too soon they are teenagers, full of angst.  I look with longing at the photos of a younger Rhiannon - longing and fond remembrances.  Of course, I love the young woman she is growing into and I hope I can help her hang onto as much of that confidence as possible.  I just love having children in my life and she is the last of my own and it doesn't look like there will be grandchildren in my life anytime soon... 

Today Rhiannon is 12 and we are celebrating twelve years of Rhiannon.  Its going to be a party week!