Saturday, January 10, 2009

Another Dream

Last night I had another dream. This one had more angst in it. In this dream my grandmother (who has already died) had just passed away. I was very sad about this and I missed her tremendously. I was going with my family to the funeral (which I didn't do in real life). The funeral was at a huge mormon church - kind of an amalgamation of many such churches so there were several chapels and several gyms. I got there with my sister, Laura (interestingly named for this grandmother). There were already hundreds of people there and I was wandering around looking for a good seat. Because there were already so many people there, I didn't even bother going into the main room as I assumed all the good seats would be taken. Laura found a place that she wanted to be so I left my family with her but kept looking myself for a better place. I started to get annoyed. I thought that they should have reserved seats near the front for the family. I went into the main room, feeling annoyed and huffy and angry that there hadn't been seats reserved only to find that there were a whole lot of empty reserved seats for the family. I ran back to get Dean and Laura and my kids and tell them the good news.

Perhaps a silly little dream full of angst and loss, searching and misunderstanding. But to me (who, I admit sees symbolism in everything) I see it as a little parable for myself (who else?). Often what I am striving towards and struggling after is easily accessible and better than I imagined. I just have to look in the right place.

I love this time of year. It is so epic. Profound dreams and big plans. It all feels magical to me.

1 comment:

beetlemack said...

aren't dreams always little parables about ourselves? that's why they're so interesting. i love the ways our subconscious finds to tell us things about ourselves.