Friday, June 23, 2006

Blessed - The Legacy of Love

I am home from 4 days of camping with my homeschooling group. It is the middle of the afternoon and I am about to fall into the soft, clean coolness of my bed. But before I do, my heart is so full, I want to express it. I just camped with 10 other amazing women and their children. I am covered in mosquito bites; I got maybe 15 minutes of sleeping between the late, late night talk of boys and school and Rhiannon vomitting twice and being freezing last night but I am so recharged. I am happy and at peace. I am full.

It was camping days of nothing and of everything. We ate together, played and talked together - all kinds of things from metaphysics to homeschooling to how children learn to read to how boys are treated in the school system and in our culture to mosquitos to religion. I sat on the beach covered in deet. My children played. Rhiannon played in big groups and small groups. She played with the girls and she played with the boys. Andrew connected with girls and boys younger than him of all different ages. He rode his bike; he went for walks; he went to the store; he ran around screaming and chasing. He sat on the beach with his friends and he fit in perfectly. Kaetlyn came after her exams on Wednesday and she connected with another older sister who also goes to school. We just fit in. And it was so easy. Perhaps it was not so easy for others but it was easy for me.

I feel such acceptance and understanding in this group of women. I am so grateful for them in my life. Amongst them I feel more often than anywhere else that I am seen for who I am - all the complexities of me. I feel like it is ok to be me. So I come home tired and mosquito bitten with vomit on sleeping bags and my soul is full to the brim. I am filled up with validation and encouragement and acceptance. I know that my children are okay. That my family is okay. That we are doing all right. That I have something to contribute that is worthwhile and something to receive that I really need. And feeling so accepted and validated and valued myself, I look at my children and I see how wonderful and beautiful and incredible they are. I am refreshed in my efforts with them. My energy is renewed. In fact, I am renewed and hopeful about many things. I feel more detirmined to do my bit for the environment, to speak up about local produce, to support local agriculture, to eat better, to be better... What a gift.

As my 41st birthday nears and another year has gone past I see what a magic has been in my life this year. It started with the bike hike with my sisters around Salt Spring Island - another wonderful connecting - and it ends here with another camping trip with my soul sisters. I have spent a lot of my life feeling isolated and alone. No more. I have worked hard at finding a real community for myself and my family and I feel so blessed, so very grateful to have found it - to be a part of it - to feel it around me and under me, supporting me and accepting my support.

No comments: